


Penance

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: FT - Gen [7]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Freed Justine Appreciation Weekend, Friendship/Love, Gen, Guilt, Penance - Freeform, Punishment, Raijinshuu - Freeform, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-10-24 04:26:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17697617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Even the strongest people have moments of weakness, of feeling lost. In the aftermath of the Battle of Fairy Tail, Freed tries to punish himself, and the rest of the Raijinshuu are there to pick up the pieces and bring him home.





	Penance

    The Fantasia parade was coming to an end, the final few fireworks decorating the night sky with bursts of colour, that cast Magnolia in an almost magical light. Standing at the back of the excited crowd who were watching as the last of the floats passed by, Evergreen and Bickslow watched as Laxus disappeared into the side street, catching the glimmer of moisture on the Dragon-slayer’s face as he turned away, and they had to fight the urge to dash after him. They still weren’t happy with the fact that he was the one being punished for all their actions, and seeing the raw emotion in his face, and seeing the slow, reluctant steps made it a hundred times worse, and Bickslow even took a few steps in that direction before stopping.

    They weren’t happy with the situation, even though Laxus himself had accepted what was happening and in fact had seemed strangely lighter than they had seen in a long time, and Freed had agreed with him. Even going so far as to wave him off with a smile. Albeit one that hadn’t touched his eyes, and that hadn’t hidden the tremor in his hands as he’d turned away.

    It was that memory, rather than any progress towards acceptance that had them turning away and letting Laxus disappear into the night, as they remembered the reason, they were out here in the first place when they had intended to avoid the festival entirely. _Freed._ Their earlier concern growing as they scanned the crowds around them for a glimpse of familiar green hair, or even just some sign that their Captain had been through here, although it was hard to imagine that he would have come here. Not, after the guilt they had glimpsed in his eyes when he had left them a couple of hours ago in the booth they had awkwardly claimed at the very back of the guild, muttering some vague excuse and a promise to return later before all but bolting from the room.

    Usually, they would’ve let him be, knowing better than anyone that he was more than capable of protecting himself, and it wouldn’t be the first time he had taken off on his own to gather his thoughts. However, they had seen the guilt – something that he would usually have kept locked away behind a calm mask, and there had been something off about him, a stilted edge to his voice, a tremor to his hands that had been present ever since their discussion with Laxus. That had been enough to have them on edge, knowing that for all his strength, he had a worrying habit of taking the blame on himself and that in this situation he was holding himself responsible – not just for his own actions, or Laxus’, but theirs as well.

    However, they had gone from being on edge to being openly worried as the afternoon had trickled away with no sign of their Captain returning. Which was why they had eventually ventured out into the city, trying to hold themselves apart from the rest of the Guild and the excited crowd. Still unsure of their acceptance here. Especially, now that their initial anger over what had happened to Laxus was easing, leaving them increasingly aware of how much they could have ruined, if not outright destroyed with their actions. They hadn’t really expected to find Freed amongst the crowd, but it had gradually dawned on them that they had spent so little time here over the last few months, that they weren’t entirely sure where he would go.

*

    The crowds were beginning to thin out now, families starting to head homewards as the sky grew darker overhead, and it was he stepped out of the way of one such family, ignoring the wary glances that his helmet drew with pained if not practised ease, that Bickslow paused. His gaze drawn to Kardia Cathedral in the distance, brightly illuminated at this time of night, even though the building had been sealed off for repairs after everything that had happened, and he scowled. It had been Freed, battered and bruised from his battle with Mira, and shaken after what had transpired who had told them about the fight at the cathedral, and they had heard the strain, and the darker emotions that none of them had been ready to put a name to.

Something he regretted now.

“Ever,” he muttered, reaching out to grab her shoulder, one of the only people she would allow to do that, and it was a testament to how on edge they still were that she jolted, magic gathering for a second before she realised who it was. They both grimaced, an apology unneeded, and Bickslow tilted his head towards the cathedral.

“You think….” Evergreen trailed off with a sigh and shook her head. “Of course, he is.”

“Go ahead,” Bickslow didn’t waste his breath replying, instead glancing at the dolls that were trailing after him, unusually silent, as though to reflect his mood although they perked up at his words. “Look for Freed, but don’t disturb him.” He didn’t want Freed to disappear on them, something that would never usually be a concern, but just the fact that he had gone off on his own even for a few hours was enough to tell them this wasn’t a normal situation. He waited until he felt their agreement, before waving them off and turning back to Evergreen just as she grabbed his arm and began to pull him after the dolls that had rocketed off towards the cathedral chanting Freed’s name under their breath.

*

    Up close, they finally began to understand how bad things must’ve been during the final battle, and they found themselves slowly and sharing uneasy looks as they passed the rubble that had already been cleared into piles to make access easier, noting the scorch marks from flames and lightning on many pieces. _Laxus…_ There was worry for the Thunder God, but it was muted, because they had seen Laxus and while he had been injured, hurt more than they could ever remember seeing him, he had been okay and able to walk away under his own steam. However, it paled in comparison to their concern for Freed as they were forced to duck under the rope that had been used to set up a cordon around the building, ignoring the flashing lacrima signs warning them to stay back.

   At the top of the steps, they were greeted by Bickslow’s dolls, the spirits drooping forms a confirmation in and of itself, and neither Evergreen nor Bickslow could remember them looking quite so dejected before.

“Freed! Freed!” It was little more than a whisper, nothing compared to their usual excited squeals and shouts, and Bickslow forced a smile for them, reaching up to pat the closest doll.

“It’s all right, we’ll take care of him,” he reassured him, and for a moment even Evergreen was fooled by the confidence in his words before she caught he downwards twist of his lips, and the way his free hand had clenched at his side. Before she could think of anything to say, the uncertainty disappeared as he straightened and looked at the dolls once more.  “Wait out here for us, and warn us if anyone comes.” It was a reminder that they weren’t supposed to be here, and she glanced back at the cordon, worry deepening as she realised that the fact that Freed was here had meant that he had ignored the warnings too, something that he would never have done usually because that meant going against the rules. Something that Bickslow had teased him for countless times in the past, and something the three of them had learned to fight around, once they’d realised how essential rules were to their Captain.

_Freed, what is going on…?_

    It was Bickslow who moved first, waving off the dolls who immediately floated up to form a protective line in front of the cathedral, still drooping a little, although having something to focus on seemed to have helped. Then he was striding towards the doors, and Evergreen hurried to follow him, neither of them speaking as he carefully inched the door open, neither of them wanting to startle Freed – especially if he was already on edge. They had both learned the consequences of doing that more than once, and they weren’t keen to face that again, but there was no sign that their presence had been noted as they slipped inside, something that only added to their welling worry.

   Evergreen was the first to notice Freed, her sharp intake of breath alerting Bickslow, who followed her gaze, and then cursed under his breath.

     Freed was knelt in the middle of the main aisle, the ground beneath him scarred – not by lightning or fire, but raw, magical power. His head was bowed, and he was facing away from them, preventing them from seeing his expression. However, what they could see was the rapier in his hand, held in a loose grip, and dragging against the ground as though he had suddenly lost the strength to wield it. At least he didn’t seem to have any inclination to use it at the moment, although there was little comfort to be taken from that, because as they moved closer, it became apparent that he already had, the ground around him littered with strands of familiar green hair.

“Freed…” Bickslow whispered, the sound deafening in the quiet and Freed tensed, shoulders hunching in, but he didn’t respond, and they shared a look before all but running to his side and dropping down beside him. It was Bickslow who reached for the rapier, gently easing it out of Freed’s unresisting grasp, leaving Evergreen free to brush her hand against his arm, a lump forming in the back of her throat as she took in the damage he had caused. The cowlicks were gone, roughly sheared off at the base, and the long, silky green hair had been slashed and hacked at until no two bits hung at the same length.

“Freed what have you done?”

“P-penance…” She hadn’t really been expecting an answer, and she almost wished she hadn’t received one, heart aching at how lost he sounded, and beside her, Bickslow made a pained noise as he fumbled with the clasp for his cloak. He managed to undo it and remove it, draping the cloak around Freed’s shoulders, and drawing her attention to the fact that their Captain was shivering, and when she reached up to brush fingers against his cheek, she realised that he was chilled and almost clammy to the touch. _Shock,_ she thought, something painful twisting in her chest as she leaned forward, trying to get his attention, but while he was certainly aware of them now, he wouldn’t look at her, and after a moment she abandoned her efforts _._

“Penance?” She asked instead, deciding that she hated that word there and then. They all had a lot to make up for, but there was something about hearing that word in Freed’s strangled, broken voice, that hurt. “For what?”

“I should have seen it,” Freed whispered, and his fingers twitched, and for a wild moment, she thought he was going to go for the rapier, and Bickslow must’ve thought the same as he quickly moved it out of reach behind him. “I should’ve known that this wasn’t what he really wanted. If I had seen it, I could have stopped all this from happening. I could have stopped…everything…and I…” His words were disintegrating, his voice becoming more and more inaudible, and Evergreen felt the shivering becoming tremors as she wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

_Freed._

    He had always tried to carry too much when it came to them and Laxus, burdening himself, even when there was nothing that anyone could have done. It happened when one of them was injured, or a job went wrong, and they should’ve known that it was going to happen this time. However, as bad as he could frequently be, this was something worse, and she swallowed, exchanging a worried glance with Bickslow, unsure of how they were supposed to fix this. Because in a way he wasn’t wrong, if they had seen that Laxus’ heart lay elsewhere despite everything he had said to the contrary, then they wouldn’t be where they were right now. What he was wrong about though, was where the blame lay, because as much as he was their leader - their Captain, they were more than capable of making up their own minds. They had chosen to follow Laxus, to quash any doubts they’d had about what they were going to do, and she knew that all of them had harboured some before the Battle of Fairy Tail had begun and that they had all chosen to ignore them.

    However, she also knew that now wasn’t the time time to point that out. That he wouldn’t be able to hear the words right now, let alone accept them. Too much had happened today, and she could feel him beginning to slump now, leaning into their hold as Bickslow had mirrored her actions, wrapping an arm around him from the other side.

“Come on, let’s get you home,” she said, surprised that she managed to sound even remotely composed because there was something unnerving about seeing Freed like this. She had to fight back a flinch at her own words, knowing that home had always been the Raijinshuu and Laxus and that they were already down one of those, and she was unsurprised when Freed did tense at her words, shaking his head, although he made no effort to escape. Although, she a feeling that was more because he lacked the energy to fight them at the moment.

“Ever’s right,” Bickslow interjected now, no trace of his usual mischief to be found. “Let’s go home, and get warmed up. We can talk about everything else tomorrow.” Evergreen wasn’t sure that was a good thing to say, knowing that if she had been in Freed’s shoes the idea of talking about this, even when feeling better, would’ve been too much. However, their Captain had always been far stronger than many people, including them at times, gave him credit for, and after a moment he gave a tiny nod of agreement.

“We can tidy this up as well,” she added softly, reaching up to run her fingers through the tattered ruins of his hair. She wished that they could just undo the damage, but she knew even without asking that he wouldn’t want that. Even if they could reassure him that he wasn’t to blame for this, or at least make him see that the responsibility lay with them as well, she knew that he needed something tangible to show his remorse. To show that he had changed, and she couldn’t or wouldn’t take that from him. However, nor would she let him remain like this, knowing that he needed order in his life if he was going to get back on his feet, even in his appearance and that before this he had taken pride in that. “It might have to go a lot shorter,” she warned, studying it properly now, and wincing a little at just how much damage he had done. “But it’s fixable.”   

    She wasn’t just talking about his hair, and apparently Freed had realised it as well, because he moved under his own steam for the first time since they had found him, leaning against Bickslow and lifting his head to look at her. His eyes had always been open, the easiest way for them to tell what their Captain was thinking or feeling, and now they were like well pools of emotion – grief, remorse, hurt…but also a quiet resolve, the strength that had been missing from his voice before, as he nodded and this time when he spoke

“Let’s go home.”


End file.
